I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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