I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
