I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize