apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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