I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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