Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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