Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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