I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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