if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
