Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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