Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
