i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
time to smoke my breakfast
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
