I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
