And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
