The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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