I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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