he thought i was a dude.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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