ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
