So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
