While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
