Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
