shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
