Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
50% drunk capacity currently
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
