Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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