It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
3 2 1 whiskey
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
