youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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