How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
