I feel like abortions should bother me more
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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