Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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