i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
