i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
