I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
