I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
