He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
