Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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