no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
