It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
