dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So much rum. So many feels.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
