I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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