I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just had sex on a roof
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize