Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
