Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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