Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
nutella sex= disaster
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
