Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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