We're facebook friends in real life
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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