I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
