maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
someone owes me an orgasm
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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