If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
