she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
That reminds me...we need to get swords
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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