My entire life is one complicated drinking game
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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