Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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