For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
