Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
