the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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