Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
