I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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