I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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