I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
