he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
