...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
