Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
