I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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