OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
