I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My ass is underappreciated
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
