why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
